Monday, December 8, 2008

Time to Stop Thinking Pink Slips

Employers: Stop Thinking About Those Pink Slips!

A lot has been written, posted and said about layoffs.

This may be the best mofo thing I have seen on the entire subject. No one discusses topics quite like Trizle!

My own take on layoffs is this. Companies should:

A. Give more of a shit

B. Do the Right Thing!

If you are worth a damn, you know what that is, and there isn't a lot more to say!

Trizle Says:

Why Layoffs Make You a Suck-Suck Businessperson

Crazy business world is crazy. Peep this:

1. Company A lays off people.

2. Company B keeps their people.

3. They both cut costs by 20%.

Or these:

How in the mofofrikozle?

1. One company thinks cutting people = "the only way to cut costs! OH YEEE---AAH!"

2. The other company cuts costs through business stuff.

The Business Stuff?


- Helping your employees work faster.

- Cutting worthless expenses -- like buying expensive @!##@% chairs.

- Liquidating expensively worthless stuff -- like selling expensive #$@#%@ chairs.

Or these:

- Transitioning folks from R&D to focus on immediate revenue-generating activities (i.e., sales stuff, etc.)

- Leasing out portions of your office.

- Expanding the skills of your workers to take on more work.

- Automating repetitive tasks.

- Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda.

For instance, if you see Sallie B being idle:

- Give her more work.

- Keep her upbeat to boost her productivity.

- Coach her to improve her efficiency.

- Have her reach out to one new prospect per day (or hour) to increase sales.

- The yaddas.

"But I have to lay of people! OH NOES!"

If you find that you have to lay off XYZ people, you probably shouldn't have hired the XYZ folks in the first place -- even when the economy = good.If you see Johnny A's position as interchangeable:

- Don't hire for the position. Ever.

- Contract his work out to a third-party -- where you rid your company from being financially-obligated to fulfilling a salary.

- Now, set a short-term ("pay-as-you-go") contract with the third-party.


You'll cut costs in (1) the time it takes to manage his position, (2) the resources you drain to keep him productive, and (3) paying his costly salary.

Most importantly, you'll make your business more nimble to generate bigger returns (i.e., you free up more cash to invest into your company's cash-cow/strengths/expertise).

Rule of Thumb: Companies that Constantly Layoff People Managerially Suck

They take the safe and easy road:

- Cut people.

- Ignore improving The MotherFernuckin Business.

It's a reason why their management decisions end up sucking -- and keep sucking like the suck-suck."

Let's take the easy road! A-OKAY!", they scream -- ignoring steps/ways/ideas/actions to improve their business stuff, and trim their fatty-fat-fat business expenses.


Focus on The Mofo: Business Stuff.

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